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Author: Heather A. Eades

  • Is It Me? My Child? Or the Curriculum? What to do when homeschooling frustrations abound

    Is It Me? My Child? Or the Curriculum? What to do when homeschooling frustrations abound

    is-it-the-curriculum-image

     

    On to curriculum! In this final post in our series, Deb Bell helps this homeschooling mama learn to let go of unchecked boxes, and embrace the learning lifestyle—flaws and all.

     

    Heather Eades: So if you have determined your curriculum is the culprit of your homeschool’s frustrations, what would you suggest?

     

    Deb Bell:  First adapt. I adapted every piece of curriculum I ever used. I slowed it down, sped it up; if it was tedious, we did every other problem. Don’t be afraid to change the assignment. I do not subscribe to the philosophy that you have to be “thorough.” I believe in a spiraling pedagogy, and that over time with repeated exposure and different contexts, students will get there. It’s perfectly fine to skip stuff and adjust; modify assignments–read a different book! Curriculum is a tool. Don’t let it enslave you.

     

    HE: While many of us know that makes total sense to hear, I have countless homeschooling friends who have told me they just can’t handle it if all the boxes aren’t checked. Any advice for us Type A personalities?

     

    DB: Most homeschooling parents are simply trying to do right by their children. They feel they are shortchanging their child if they don’t do everything, or that they’re being a lazy homeschooling parent. But the vast majority of homeschooling parents just need to understand that they can be more relaxed in their approach, and that God is in the details.

    For Christian homeschoolers, the main reason to homeschool is so God can show you His faithfulness and His abundant provision. God has already accounted for our mess-ups, failures, and limitations. Make God a big part of this whole evaluation, and show your kids it’s OK to make mistakes, even though we all try to do the best we can. It’s the wrong emphasis for a parent to think, “Homeschooling is something I’m doing to my children,” rather than supporting their child in their own quest for knowledge and understanding, and gaining competencies; figuring out what God wants them to do with their life. Support those things. Boxes can go unchecked. 

     

    HE: Was there ever a time when you completely abandoned a curriculum completely mid-year?

     

    DB: Yes,  one of my children was part of a co-op using a math program that was not a good fit for the child’s learning style. It wasn’t that my child was being over-challenged as much as the child was frustrated and confused by the way the material was presented. If you realize you can’t change the content or coach the child through it to make gains, you know it is time to make a change.

     

    HE: How does a parent determine if a curriculum or philosophy does not fit their child’s learning style?

     

    DB: Be“student- centered.” Focused on the child, not the curriculum. It’s the homeschooling parent who is actually learning how their child learns—they become a student of the student.  If  your child struggles continuously in a school subject and you see they are putting in a lot of effort and have the desire to learn, yet they’re not making gains, make changes. Every child is uniquely designed by God. Your child’s cognitive growth is just as unique as your child’s physical development. We need to normalize differences in our children’s cognitive development in the same way we normalize differences in their physical growth.

     

    HE: Thank you, Deb! I think a lot of homeschooling parents like me need to hear this reminder. We can all feel such pressure, especially this time of year.

     

    DB: At this point in the year, we’re all aware of our inadequacies. But I believe God allows that so we can then figure out how to call for a greater dependency on the Lord for these decisions and for our children’s lives—God is homeschooling us! So many of the practical questions we all have in this evaluation process are really just symptomatic of God calling us to press in to a deeper sense of His call and provision.

    So celebrate! In homeschooling, we are so often aware of where we’re falling short and what’s not working and where our kids are struggling…that we over-emphasize, completely discount or minimize where God IS providing abundantly. Where are your kids THRIVING? Where are they IMPROVING? Where are they MATURING and SUCCEEDING? Celebrate those things in the process.

     

     

     

  • Is It Me? My Child? Or the Curriculum? What to do when homeschooling frustrations abound

    Is It Me? My Child? Or the Curriculum? What to do when homeschooling frustrations abound

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    Last week we began a series on mid-school year self-evaluations, and how to trouble-shoot your homeschooling frustrations. This week I continue my discussion with Debra Bell, as we look at how to determine if it’s just a bad day, a character issue with your child/children, or simply a child in need of more support.

    Is it just a bad day?

    Heather Eades: In trouble-shooting issues with your homeschool, last week we talked about what to do when the problem is with you, the homeschooling parent. But what can parents do when they determine that the majority of schooling frustrations appear to be coming from their child?

    Deb Bell: When I see frustration in my child, I stop and ask, “Is this child just having a bad attitude today?” Because that is a very real possibility. But we also want to consider the child’s character, because sometimes kids are prone to laziness and don’t enjoy putting out extra effort. However another question to certainly consider is, “Is the child being over-challenged?”

    Does the child need extra support?

    HE: What should parents do if they feel their child is being over-challenged by specific subjects?

    DB: Then we either need to provide more support as a parent or make a change—I’ve found at different times that, even though I’m all about raising independent learners, at times my kids just needed me to sit beside them and help them with that subject on that day.

    One of the hardest challenges of being a homeschooling parent is keeping ourselves free from distractions. We have goals for the housework; we’re always multitasking. For me to homeschool with integrity, I had to turn off my phone (at least for the morning.) I tried to frontload the day with our homeschooling, in order for me to be solely focused in the morning on my children’s individual needs.

    Does the problem exist outside of schoolwork?

    HE: And after you’ve given your child support, what if you suspect a character issue with your child? How does a parent determine this?

    DB: My husband had excellent wisdom in this! If I thought I was dealing with a character issue, my husband would always ask, “Well, is it pervasive?” The character issue can be determined as a rule of thumb, I think, by asking yourself, “Does the problem only emerge when my child is doing school, or do I see the problem during other aspects of the child’s life?” If your child doesn’t want to do math…but he also doesn’t want to do anything…it might be a character issue and no curriculum is going to fix that.

    HE: So, what is a parent to do with a character issue?

    DB: I would start by telling my child what I’m seeing, couching it all with empathy. I remember one time my husband concluded the resistance from one of our kids was really just laziness. We’ve all had those moments when the real reason we don’t get something done is we are being lazy. Fortunately, our child listened to our perspective and asked for help and forgiveness—which we both immediately offered on both counts. We prayed together and asked the Lord to help all of us put more effort into our responsibilities. We need to come along side our kids when they struggle with a character issue or immaturity. Let them see that parents have to resist these temptations as well.

    Allow  your homeschool to be HolySpirit-led. We need to be asking the Lord, “What is my child ready for? What does he/she need from me? How can I challenge each child appropriately?” As you become more in tune with the Holy Spirit’s leading, you will become more in tune with each child.

    Finally, in our next post we look at what to do if it is the curriculum.

     

  • Is It Me? My Child? Or the Curriculum?

    Is It Me? My Child? Or the Curriculum?

    What to do when homeschooling frustrations abound

    Some things are probably working wonderfully for you this school year but others are not. How do you figure out how to address those problem areas? I sat down with Debra Bell for practical advice on trouble-shooting your homeschool.

    This week we look at how to pinpoint the root of homeschooling frustrations, and 4 steps to help when the source of the issue is . . . you.

    1.Trouble-shoot.

    Heather Eades: Many of us are re-examining the investment we made in the year’s curriculum. What are some questions to be asking through this process?

    Deb Bell: We need to be asking, “What’s working, what’s not? What do I need to adjust or flex to make the rest of the year a success and help my child feel successful?” Give yourself permission to stop and take a break to pinpoint issues.

    2. Shift your focus from a curriculum-centered plan to a child-centered plan.

    HE: Can you share some personal experience you have in doing this as a home educator?

    DB: When asked what homeschool method I ascribed to, I always said my homeschool approach was intentional and strategic. And in order to be that, you have to be child-centered. So, at this point in the year I would look at each of my kids, and I would take a day—strategic and purposeful—to sit down and think about, “How is each kid doing? Where do I see focus? Where do I see interest? And if I saw those things, then I knew, “It’s working; I don’t need to adjust.”

    HE: And when did you know to make changes?

    DB: When I’d identify where any of my kids were losing self-confidence, were discouraged because they couldn’t be successful, or where I saw a lack of motivation and interest. I always want each child to feel successful—I can’t overemphasize how important a child’s own sense of success and accomplishment is. That doesn’t mean a child should expect things to feel easy. Hard is good. But sometimes parents may persist with a curriculum or resource even when their children are failing, or their confidence is being undermined. Many parents don’t know what to do, so they just keep going. When kids are losing confidence, parents really need to stop and prayerfully discern the root causes.

    3. Set aside your timetable; adjust to the pace your child needs.

    HE: If a parent has been pushing through a curriculum for quite awhile, without seeing gains, would you suggest backtracking–not being bound by a grade level?

    DB: (laughs) I avoided buying resources that had specific grade levels for that reason. Dropping back might be an option, but just slowing down the pace often worked well for us. We can get very anxious about slowing down and moving at a pace that allows our children to be successful, but we really need to do that. Continually setting a pace that is beyond the child’s readiness is self-defeating. It only makes the problem worse. Whenever you’re undermining your child’s confidence, you’re actually making it much more difficult for that child to ever catch up or to ever like that subject. As a parent my goal is to make them confident in the subject. An inflexible schedule? That’s an issue with me. The schedule is not child-centered, and I need to change that.

    4.Give yourself permission to use curriculum as a guide.

    HE: I think many times, we parents feel like we have to keep pressing through a curriculum by the end of the year—we have to check all the boxes or we didn’t do enough. How would you respond to that as an educator?

    DB: I think parents often feel like that!  They feel like, “OK, we bought this curriculum, we’ve got to get through it by the end of the year!” But what many parents don’t realize is that as a classroom teacher, I never got through an entire curriculum in a year. Classroom teachers are very comfortable not doing everything. We’re picking and choosing, modifying (curriculum), not completing it. Give yourself permission to adapt, skip, or take a break.

    Next post: Is It Me, the Curriculum, or My Child Pt. 2: What to do when it is your child.

  • Just Add Snow-Day “Specials” Pt.1

    Just Add Snow-Day “Specials” Pt.1

    As your homeschool finds its New Year’s groove again, one way to smooth away some of the rough patches is to build in some Snow Day fun on those cozy afternoons. By sprinkling “specials” often reserved for breaks and holidays into your everyday school routine, you can keep the joy of homeschooling alive and dust away those winter blues. From one homeschooling mama to another, here is part one in a series of favorite “fun-tivities” for winter, with this week’s focus on outdoor/indoor snow ideas!

     

    • Snowtubs! This has been one of my children’s absolute favorite snow-day activities literally since they were born. Simply take a shallow, plastic, under-bed storage container and fill with snow and bring inside. Infants and toddlers explore, touching and tasting snow, while preschoolers enjoy building an indoor snowman, scooping and dumping snow with measuring cups, or creating an imaginative wonderland in the tub with toys. (This is also a wonderful sensory activity for parents to occupy younger children while helping olders with their schoolwork!)

     

    No snow in your area? No problem! Add science into the mix, filling a tub with Insta-Snow (found online https://www.amazon.com/Be-Amazing-Insta-Snow-Makes-Gallons/dp/B000FA6APE or make your own with Pinterest recipes!)

     

    • Spray paint snow—When it’s not too cold to venture out on a winter afternoon, add an empty spray bottle filled with water and some liquid watercolor paint or food coloring. Put different colors in each bottle and designate a snowy area of your yard to become your child’s outdoor canvas. Older children may enjoy leading younger siblings on an animal tracking adventure in the snow with the spray bottles. Explore around your yard, or a local park to spot different animal tracks, allowing younger children to squirt each discovery with the watercolor spray! For further fun, take pictures on your phone of the animal prints and enjoy looking them up together after the hike!

     

    • Sledding—Snowy days also often provide the best incentive for children to work quickly and well in order to be able to head over to the sledding hill when work is complete. There is nothing my children enjoy more than when mom and dad join in the fun, and if this is a possibility for you—do it! I highly encourage all parents to jump on a sled with your children at least once this season, or if your children are old enough, perhaps try something new together like snowshoeing or skiing.

     

    • Snow forts are another timeless favorite, and a great way to have your children work together planning, designing, and building together, (with some strength training P.E. in there with all that shoveling to boot!)

     

    • And if snow is not an option on your cozy afternoon, a table, some chairs and a pile of blankets are all it takes to make some really cool blanket forts. Just add books, some stuffed friends, and perhaps some homemade hot chocolate.

     

    • Snowcakes—Another indoor special for when the temperatures are too cold to play outside for long—snowcake-decorating sessions. Fill pie and cake pans with snow to bring indoors, set out watercolor paints and brushes over towels on the kitchen floor and let imaginations run wild! My own children would invite friends over and work diligently for hours designing their chilly creations.
    • If a blustery day isn’t forecasting snow, REAL cakes made by free-range chefs are always a cozy-day “special” as well! Grant your children permission to just experiment in the kitchen baking their own cake creations! Adults set limits of the ingredients allowed and man the oven, but other than that, let your children have the time of their lives cracking eggs, pouring milk, whisking flour everywhere, adding food coloring for fun. This is also a great opportunity to get rid of any unwanted Christmas candy! –Let them bake it ALL into their cakes! (Definitely about the process not the product!) …and for all you Type A’s out there—2 words: Plastic. Tarp.

    Try a few of these ideas several times a week, and hopefully as the temperatures drop, your homeschool’s attitude will begin to soar!

     

    Stay tuned for Part 2 of this series with a focus on favorite winter reads!

  • Just Add Snow-Day “Specials” Pt. 2

    Just Add Snow-Day “Specials” Pt. 2

    When the temperatures are too cold to be outside for long afternoon breaks, games are a perfect way to bring families together, while also reinforcing skills needed for learning. Here are this homeschooling mama’s top picks for beating winter blues through fun and games! 

    Littles

    • Cranium Hulabaloo teaches shape and color recognition while letting children get their wiggles out at the same time! Mats of different shapes and colors are scattered across the floor, and an electronic device shouts out different ways for children to get to the nearest designated mat. Lots of fun for all, and helps young children learn to follow directions as well.
    • Chutes and Ladders, while a childhood staple and classic, still is brand new fun for your preschoolers and provides counting practice and number recognition. Fun ways to put a new twist on this game—let your children use their favorite small toy figurines in place of game pieces. In our house we have also played an Opposite Day version, where a player gets to walk up the slides and climbs down the ladders, or we start at the finish and subtract our way to the start!
    • Memory builds visual memory skills critical for recognizing letters and numbers, as well as sight words in reading. A fun way to help little ones feel connected to out-of-state extended family is to make up your own Memory game with family photos! Simply print off doubles of favorite pictures of grandmas, grandpas, cousins and more; glue to colored cardstock squares, and then play! (You may want to laminate.)

    Elementary-Aged

    • Qwirkle is a great strategy game to bust out that the youngest in your family will be able to enjoy alongside older siblings and parents. Children build on math skills by looking for ways to build patterns, matching colors or shapes, and adding up points as they do so. Planning, patterns and problem-solving skills make this the perfect game to pull out when a math lesson ends in tears.
    • Scrabble Alphabet Soup incorporates all the senses into spelling fun. Children love taking turns shaking up all the letter tiles in the pot, scooping them out in a hurry to see who can match all the letters to their word first. This game is great for letter recognition, phonemic awareness and strengthens early literacy skills through hands-on fun!

    Want more spelling challenge for older elementary? Try the Campbell’s Alphabet Dice Game, where players simply throw the dice and spell words.

    • Guesstures (a modern take on Charades) is another family favorite that bridges all age-gaps. Perfect for snowy days or family game nights, this game builds on children’s creative thinking skills, gets them up and moving, and emphasizes drama/theater skills!

    Middle School and Beyond

    • Dixit provides a fun-tastic break from everyday language arts, building storytelling skills and creativity with friends and family. While one player is chosen as the storyteller creating a sentence from an image on one of his six cards, the rest of the players have fun choosing a card from theirs which best matches the sentence.
    • Picwits is a similar game, building on creative connections and associations. All players have to choose one of their picture cards to best represent the judge’s caption card. *Warning some of the photos on a few of the cards could be a little frightening for younger players. Still, loads of laughs to brighten a dreary day!
    • Ticket to Ride is a grand adventure for a gloomy day, where players expand their geography knowledge and strategy skills as they plot to claim railway routes, build the longest continuous railroad, and try to complete the mission of their Destination Tickets.

     

    Just for Fun

    I just had to mention my family’s two favorite games for middles and beyond when we just want to laugh and have fun. Quelf, is simply a hilarious game of ridiculous rules being played out to avoid penalties. Perfect for an afternoon with friends, or a multi-family game night.

    And the top favorite new game in this family of artists is Telestrations. In this cross between Pictionary and Telephone, the less artistic the players are, the more fun and funnier the game becomes!

    Enjoy!

     

    Stay tuned for Part 3 of this series where we look at favorite winter reads!

  • Just Add Snow Day “Specials” Pt. 3

    Just Add Snow Day “Specials” Pt. 3

    Just Add Snow Day

    Just Add Snow-Day Specials– Books to Read and Read-aloud

    When the winter months seem to put a damper on your homeschool, breaking up your days with a sprinkling of “Snow-Day Specials” can be just the cure! Transform your family’s cabin fever by creating cozy-day fun with favorite books to read and read-aloud. Here are just a handful of my family’s favorite books to curl up with, along with some ways to add some “Wow!” 

    Littles

    In part 1 of this series I suggested building a blanket fort as a way to add some “Wow” to your day. A blanket fort, or “bear cave” for those days that were made for hibernating, is a perfect place for littles and not-so-littles to curl up with their favorite books. Fill with comfy pillows, stuffed friends, a flashlight, and join your child in some serious snuggling time with some of these winter’s day favorites for little ones:

    • The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats
    • The Biggest, Best Snowman by Margery Cuyler
    • The Mitten by Jan Brett.
    • Bear Snores On by Karma Wilson
    • Blizzard by John Rocco

    Not-so-Littles

    For children who are school-aged, dreary afternoons can be broken up by expanding on the stories they are reading or listening to, after and even during the story.

    Some favorites for early elementary aged children include:

    • The My First Little House Books series, including, Winter Days in the Big Woods, Sugar Snow, and Winter on the Farm. Older elementary students will love reading or listening to Laura Ingalls Wilder’s original Little House on the Prairie As a fun extension, take a winter field trip to a local farm! Everyone visits farms in the summer or fall, but find out if your children can visit a farm in winter to note the differences.
    • The Little House Cookbook: Frontier Foods from Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Classic Stories by Barbara M. Walker is another great extension for all ages to enjoy together. Have your children look through the book to cook up some afternoon treats based on the stories they are reading!
    • A Bear Called Paddington by Michael Bond is best read after cooking up some homemade biscuits or scones with your children and enjoying with some of Paddington’s favorite marmalade, along with tea in special cups.
    • Popper’s Penguins by Richard and Florence Atwater can be read aloud while children listening design their own special penguin homes, castles or towers using sugar cubes or mini marshmallows and glue.
    • Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl. A favorite activity for younger siblings as well is to make homemade play dough and then add in cocoa powder. The chocolate-scented play dough provides the perfect catalyst for children to act out their own chocolate factory and come up with some crazy fun inventions! (*I save all the boxes from Valentine’s Day chocolates to pull out for days like this, and the children love filling them with their own chocolate-dough creations!)

    Middles and More

    While the entire family may enjoy hearing these enchanting tales read aloud, olders can share in with the reading or help set up the perfect bookish afternoon. Make up hot chocolate (add whip cream for extra yum-factor!) Light a candle or two and read by candlelight. Set out art supplies: drawing paper, markers, colored pencils, or paints—many children enjoy creating scenes or even maps from read-alouds with different mediums as they listen. Some may create interpretations with Legos! In our home, we call it “active listening.” Here are a few picks to get you started:

    • The Chronicles of Narnia series by C.S. Lewis
    • The Green Ember series by S.D. Smith’s
    • The Giver by Lois Lowry
    • The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place: Book 1 The Mysterious Howling by Maryrose Wood
    • The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall (a timeless classic perfect for ALL ages!)
    • The Wingfeather Saga series by Andrew Peterson

    Venture to your local library and grab some of these favorites, perfect for any day—but ESPECIALLY a Snow Day! Happy homeschooling!